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Contents

About the Book

Also by Stephen Fry

Title Page

Introduction

Section One: Radio

Donald Trefusis

Rosina, Lady Madding

Trefusis’s Christmas Quiz

Jeremy Creep

Trefusis Overdresses

Sidney Gross

Trefusis on Education

Trefusis and Redatt

Sir John Raving: Cricket & Golf

Trefusis on Exams

Trefusis is Unwell

Trefusis on Boredom

Trefusis on Hating Oxford

Trefusis on Old Age

Trefusis’s Obituary

Trefusis Nibbles

Trefusis and Rosina

Trefusis Accepts an Award

Trefusis and the Monocled Mutineer

Trefusis Blasphemes

Trefusis on Any Questions

Trefusis Goes North

Lady Madding Again

Trefusis’s Postcard From America

Postcard Number Two

Postcard Number Three

Postcard Number Four

Section Two: Reviews & Oddments

The Tatler and Sex

Books Do Furnish A Room

The Annotated Father Brown

Arena

The Book and the Brotherhood

A Television Review

Adolf Forster

Brand X

Don’t Knock Masturbation

Cricket, Lovely Cricket …

Bernard Levin

The Satire Boo

Child of Change

Agony Cousin

Lord’s: The Great Lie

The World Service

Section Three: The Listener

Naked Children

The Family Curse

A Glimpse of The Future

Friends of Dorothy

Thatcher on TV

Sock Fury

Wimbledon Horror

Saying Fuck

Worse – By Design

Christ

Bikes, Leather and After Shave

Your and Your Toffee

Christmas Cheer

Predictions for the Year 1989

The Talker in The Listener

Ad Break

Absolutely Nothing At All

The Young

Me & A Stapler Of My Own

Give Us Back Our Obfuscation

Compliant Complaint

How I Wrote This Article

Tear Him for his Bad Verses

The Adventure of the Laughing Jarvey

Section Four: The Telegraph

Extra Sensory Deception

This Sporting Life

A Question of Attribution

Carefree Panty-Shields and Intimate Wipes

The Stuff of Dreams

Answers to The Stuff of Dreams

Piles

A Friendly Voice in the Polo Lounge

Drawing up a Hate List

Blithe & Bonny & Good & Gay

God Bless Worcestershire

Back on the Road

Zoo Time

Trefusis Returns!

A Bang on the Head

Dear Sid

As Mad As Mad Can Be

The Appearance of Reality

What Are We Fighting For?

Making the Right Moves

Licked By the Mother Tongue

Let the People Speak

Playing the Political Game

My Leonardo

A Chatterer Chatters

Game Show Heaven

A Drug on the Market

The Moustaches From Hell

She Was Only the President’s Daughter

The Sin of the Wheel

Patriot Missive

Oops

Comic Belief

The C Word

Don’t Thank Your Lucky Stars

Good Ole Country Boys

Grammar’s Footsteps

Careering All Over the Place

Tolerance to Disease

A Strange Man

Fun With Dolphins

My Sainted Aunt

A Simple Backwardsman

Goodbye, Fat Owl

And the Winner is

Taxi!

Another Question of Attribution

The Tracks of my Tears

The Mouse that Purred

A Game of Monopoly

Education is a Wonderful Thing

Role Credits

The Analogizer^®

A Signing of the Times

Good Egg

Mad as an Actress

Motor Literacy

Vim and Vigour

A Critical Condition

Heartbreak Hotels

Mercury, Messenger of the Gods

Thar’s Gold In Them Thar Films

Valete

A Matter of Emphasis

Section Five: Latín!

Programme note

Latin! or Tobacco and Boys

Act One

Act Two

Copyright Page

Paperweight

Over the years, when not wearing his acting, television or novelist trousers, Stephen Fry has written many articles and itemries for magazines, newspapers and radio. Collected together in this excellent volume the reader will find the print debut of Professor Donald Trefusis, a previously undiscovered Sherlock Holmes mystery, discourses on the subjects of piles and critics and many more witty and incisive articles from the pages of the Listener and the Daily Telegraph.