Читать онлайн «Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships»
Автор Дэниел Гоулман
ALSO BY DANIEL GOLEMAN
THE MEDITATIVE MIND VITAL LIES,1 SIMPLE TRUTHS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE WORKING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE PRIMAL LEADERSHIP (coauthor) DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS
SOCIAL
intelligence
DANIEL GOLEMAN
BOOKS
BANTAM
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
A Bantam Book / October 2006
i
Published by Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York
i
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2006 by Daniel Goleman
Book design by Patrice Sheridan Interior art by Robert Bull
Bantam Books is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc. , and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Goleman, Daniel.
Social intelligence : the new scienceiof human relationships / Daniel Goleman.
p. cm.
Contents: Wired to connect—Broken bonds—Nurturing nature—Love’s varieties—
Healthy connections.
ISBN-13: 978-0-553-80352-5 ISBN-10: 0-553-80352-2
1. Interpersonal relations. 2. Intelligence—Social aspects. 3. Emotions—
Social aspects. I. Title.
HM1106. G66 2006 158. 2—dc22 2006045971
I
Printed in the United States of America Published simultaneously in Canada
10 987654321 BVG
For the grandchildren
CONTENTS
PART
I . WIRED TO CONNECT
1.
The Emotional Economy
13
2.
A Recipe for Rapport
27
3.
Neural WiFi
38
4.
An Instinct for Altruism
50
5.
The Neuroanatomy of a Kiss
63
6.
What Is Social Intelligence?
82
PART
II * BROKEN BONDS
7.
You and It
105
8.
The Dark Triad
117
9.
Mindblind
133
PART III . NURTURING NATURE
147
162
173
10. Genes Are Not Destiny
11. A Secure Base
12. The Set Point for Happiness
PART IV о LOVE’S VARIETIES
405
About the Author
PART ONE
WIRED TO CONNECT
PROLOGUE
Unveiling a New Science
The Emotional Economy
A Recipe for Rapport
Neural WiFi
An Instinct; for Altruism
The Neuroanatomy of a Kiss
REENGINEERING THE LOW ROAD
What Is Social Intelligence?
CONCERN
You and It
The Dark Triad
Mindblind
Genes Are Not Destiny
A Secure Base
The Set Point for Happiness
Webs of Attachment
Desire: His and Hers
The Biology of Compassion
Stress Is Social
Biological Allies
A People Prescription
The Sweet Spot for Achievement
The Connectedness Corrective
From Them to Us
EPILOGUE. What Really Matters
APPENDIX A. The High and Low Roads: A Note
APPENDIX В. The Social Brain
APPENDIX С. Rethinking Social Intelligence
28. Because these basic social aptitudes are so es
5. On loneliness and health, see Sarah Pressman et
INDEX
Unveiling a New Science
During the early days of the second American invasion of Iraq, a group -of soldiers set out for a local mosque to contact the town’s chief cleric. Their goal was to ask his help in organizing the distribution of relief supplies. But a mob gathered, fearing the soldiers were coming to arrest their spiritual leader or destroy the mosque, a holy shrine.
Hundreds of devout Muslims surrounded the soldiers, waving their hands in the air and shouting, as they pressed in toward the heavily armed platoon. The commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Christopher Hughes, thought fast.
Picking up a loudspeaker, he told his soldiers to “take a knee,” meaning to kneel on one knee.
